badtuple

My Coffeeshop's Bathrooms

When I open a coffeeshop, it’ll have the best bathrooms.

  • It will have 3 hooks. Just incase you have a coat, a backpack, and a handbag none of which you wish to touch the ground.
  • It will have a little side table.
  • It will be brightly but warmly lit.
  • The room will be sealed and the air will be completely recycled after each use.
  • There will be very soft whitenoise to ensure privacy.
  • There will be 4 entirely separate bathrooms, open to any sex, so there will be no lines.
  • It will have no key or code required. All are welcome in my coffeeshop’s bathroom.
  • My coffeeshop’s bathroom shall be squeaky clean. It will be so visually clean, however, that it shall not occur to you to squeak it.
  • There will be a standard toilet, a secondary toilet with a bidet, 2 urinals of differing heights, and a toilet for those who may need extra accessibility.
  • There will be bars on the wall incase you need leverage.
  • It will be spacious but not overwhelming.
  • There will be a step stool that is easily accessible but not in the way.
  • The toilets shall be nigh uncloggable.
  • The toilets shall be high flow.
  • There will be extra sink space.
  • The mirrors shall be regularly cleaned.
  • Toilet paper will be seemingly infinite, fed from a thin slot in the wall.
  • The trash can and box for sanitary pads will automatically empty down a built-in chute.
  • There will be scented and unscented soap, clearly marked.
  • There will be a paper towel and blower option.
  • Its door will be facing the west.
  • The floor and walls will be solid, with no hard to clean grout that could hide things.
  • My coffeeshop’s bathrooms will be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. They will turn it down out of modesty.
  • There will be an additional full-body mirror.
  • All mirrors will have adjustable soft backlighting.
  • My coffeeshop’s bathrooms will not require an app.
  • There will be a small drawer with complimentary personal toiletries. This way you know that my coffeeshop’s bathroom loves you.
  • Your phone will have signal in my coffeeshop’s bathrooms.
  • WiFi will be available, just incase.

I’m very motivated by my coffeeshop’s bathrooms. I’m not particularly interested in running a coffeeshop though. The coffeeshop seems like alot of work. That’s the only reason my coffeeshop’s bathrooms don’t exist yet.